I was inspired to jot this post down by two things. One was a recent post from Ms. Renee Lane on finding a dominant woman to serve, and a love languages test I took as part of Goddess Voltairine’s Female Led Relationships course. (I heartily recommend you check it out now. Go ahead, I’ll wait…)
So this is my helpful tutorial for guys on how to win over a dominant woman. That said, this is top secret man stuff so,
So. How did I end up married to a professional dominatrix? Us guys are a visual lot, so I’ll use lots of pictures. Feel absolutely free to steal any or all of my ideas here!
It all started with one black pearl.
No, not that Black Pearl, though she loved Johnny Depp when we first met, but a single Tahitian black pearl.
She had made it clear up front she did not date ‘subby boys’ and that none of her relationships lasted much more than two years, so I knew the deck was stacked against me. I figured out early on that her primary love language was receiving gifts, so I started my campaign to win her over.
She mentioned she loved pearls, so for each birthday or special holiday, I’d give her one single black pearl. Each pearl came with a small reminder that if she choose to keep me around long enough, someday she’d have enough to string a full necklace!
She found that amusing as hell and let me tell you right now gentlemen, amusing is good! Be fucking funny! But the joke wore off in a few years so I picked up my game, buying her pearls at every opportunity.
Did I mention she loved pearls and I that I said every opportunity?
‘Nuf said. My campaign continued with little things that I’d make small mental notes about when we were together. For instance she mentioned being cold one time as we sat and watched a movie…
And after taking her to see her Johnny in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean 800’ or whatever it was, we were making silly pirate, desert island, message in bottle jokes afterwards, so of course her next gift was a love letter in a bottle! (no the message is private. Come up with your own material buddy!)
And whenever her interests changed, Johnny Depp turned out to be a real scumbag, Pokemon Go! became her new passion, my gifts changed with them.
Or knowing that being that she was born in the UK and tea was her passion, tea sets and tea continually graced her shelves.
The gifts didn’t have to be expensive. The point was they where thoughtful and fed her love language.
Some gifts where just things she saw at some flea market and commented on. I’d discretely circle back without her and buy it for her…
And she loves her cats. LOT’S of cats. So showing love for her cats was a no-brainer…
And yes, over the course of 14 years I sometimes drew a blank and had to repeat myself…
It wasn’t all about gifts either. Acts of service floated her boat too, so I dug out a hill and helped her put in a waterfall in her garden, and I built her a deck for her patio furniture when she complained about the un-levelness of the yard..
Okay. Have you gotten the message I’m a fucking romantic and an over-achiever yet? Lol! Well yes. Sometimes when you don’t look like Brad Pitt or aren’t as rich as Warren Buffet, that’s what it takes my friend.
Attention. Effort. Time. Pure and simple.
Do not start by discussing what you want and what kinks you love. Definitely not your plans to become her live-in slave. Woo her. She may be dominant, but she is a woman first or foremost. Take time to listen. When she drops little hints, like some movie she wants to see or some kitchen gadget she wants, make a mental note and, if possible, get it for her! It doesn’t need to be expensive. It just needs to fulfill a want that she stated. Pamper her. Let her know you love and adore her and hang on her every word!
Before I retired, my work philosophy was always ‘make yourself indispensable.’ It worked pretty good for me… enough that I could retire comfortably before 60. Use the same tactic with the woman of your dreams. Become her go-to guy. The one she thinks of first whenever she wants something or wants something done. Each time you do whatever it is for her, you are racking up credit in her love bank.
So as far as my story, at the end of it all of my effort she gave me the best gift of all. The one that made it all worth it!
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