Sexually speaking, I was a late bloomer. Probably because my nature to be shy, uber respectful, and catering towards women kept me from making the sexually aggressive advances that my more macho contemporaries did.
Its’ also probably why now in my early 60’s, my sex is still in overdrive. There may be something to be said too about one’s increased desire for sex as they near death (don’t take my word for it, read my aunt’s book Sexual Responses to the Stimulus of Death.), so maybe I’m just reacting to some primal need to procreate once more before I enter the void… who knows. What I do know is I am one horny dog.
I get out of bed around 2-3AM every morning because left to my own devices, I’d masturbate daily, edging myself for a couple hours each morning. Of course I can’t literally stroke myself for 3 hours straight… because ‘contact a doctor for erections lasting longer than 3 hours‘ is solid advice… and geez! Just think of the carpal tunnel I’d be suffering! LoL! So in between rounds, I’m doing service for my wife, Goddess Voltairine and Ms. Lane. I wonder what Dr. Pavlov would have to say about that? 😉
So yes, normally I would cum daily (sometimes more than once), but I digress.
Here are the reasons I consented to surrendering control of my orgasms to a woman.
Reason #1. I want it. My sexuality is ‘submissive’. Just like a homosexual gets arousal from a member of their own gender, my arousal comes from being dominated. In particular, I desire domination from a woman. Which is why throughout my entire sex life, I have largely only had sex at the advances of the woman I was dating. I need permission.
Reason #2. I need it. I am not well-suited to knowing what I need sexually. I have begged to be denied orgasm for 108 days. 30 days in, I’ve begged for an orgasm. Some might say I’m just looking for attention in both cases, but I will tell you that I am very sincere in what I’m begging for in the moment. And that’s my point. I don’t know what I want! I want to be obedient. To be controlled and denied. I want to cum. I don’t want to cum… I simply don’t know what I want. I need an intelligent, caring authority figure to decide what is best for me and save me from all my confusion and anxiety.
The ‘I want to/I don’t want to’ conundrum isn’t just kinky games. If you have ever done self-denial, you know the depression and feeling of failure that comes after your orgasm. It is far worse when a woman is doing the denying. If you fail to obey her and orgasm without permission, the feelings that follow are terrible. You are a loser. If you don’t confess what you did, you are a loser, a failure, and lair. You feel embarrassed that you even agreed this in the first place and you can start to spiral into depression, questioning your entire sexuality and life. So, truth be told we really don’t know what is best… other than follow her wishes on the matter.
Reason #3. Usefulness. As much as some of you may fantasize I have some deep, personal relationship with both Goddess Voltairine and Ms. Lane, I do not. I’m a servant to them just like many of you, and as such they don’t necessarily share their every plan and daily goals with me. I don’t know when or even if they will contact me and ask for my service in some way.
As anyway man who has spent time in chastity or been denied release for a prolonged time will tell you, you are far more attentive and eager to serve when you are horny. So if I were to have control of my orgasms, I may cum a couple times some morning and be into that refractory period of laziness and warm self-contentment men experience after orgasm when they suddenly need me for something. I can guarantee I won’t react as quickly or with as much attention to detail as I would if I was in my second month of denial!
So by surrendering my orgasms to them, they can put it on a schedule that works for them. A bit like letting your horse loose in the paddock to frolic and have fun between races. When it’s race time and you need him at peak performance, you put him back in training.
Reason #4. Retribution, Reparation, and Penance. For centuries men have forced sex upon women with little or no concern for their pleasure. Even worse are the patriarchies that still to this day force genital mutilation upon young girls as punishment or just to insure they never receive pleasure from sex.
In my small way, surrendering my orgasms to a woman’s control is my way of making amends for the sins of my fellow man. My orgasms are 100% for her pleasure and not mine.
I also wear a PA ring through my penis, put there in adherence to Goddess Voltairine’s principles. It is symbolic for the fact my genitals are no longer my own and may be mutilated and controlled – just like women have suffered. In addition to payback, pure and simple, Ms. Lane has commented time and again, zero rapes have been committed by men in chastity.
On the face of it that’s sounds like a joke, but being in chastity or surrendering your orgasms to the control of a woman makes you far less threatening to them! In fact, they may actually begin to feel safe enough around you to start amusing themselves by seeing how far they can push you without that typical male retaliation!
Reason #5. Mind Control. I’ve written about my opinions on this subject in depth here, and Goddess Voltairine saw enough merit in my thoughts to excerpt them in her book ‘150 Years of Gynarchy‘, but the short form is – edging creates an altered mental/emotional state much like hypnosis. If you practice edging frequently and imagine a woman demanding you stop each time you are on the brink of shooting, you are slowly but surely programming your mind to obey her.
I have come to obey my wife, Goddess Voltairine and Ms. Lane implicitly and I believe it is in no small measure a result of them assuming control over my orgasms.
So that’s my thoughts. How about you?
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Thank you for this. You put words to feelings I have but don’t entirely understand regarding orgasm control, surrender and my needs for domination. It’s affirming to find others talking openly about their desires and submissive sexuality.
Thank so much for sharing this. It’s really cool to read about why you surrender your orgasms to Ms Viola Voltairine.
I have the same or very similar wants and needs.
I too often have that inner battle or tease with the wanting to orgasm but also wanting denial, sometimes it’s heavenly and sometimes a hellish ball breaker frustration, lol.
I can so relate to the lowly feelings of having orgasm without permission. Naturally I want to do better or be more pleasing to Ms Viola.
My pattern at the moment is around the 20 to 25 days denied orgasm, and then I accidentally go over the edge, usually in the morning when I first wake up, super horny and dreaming about my leader Ms V.
Thanks again.
Much love 🙏