I just read these words on a new acquaintance’s FetLife profile and it’s amazing how a word, or in this case two words, can open a flood of memories and thoughts!
More than a decade ago I was fascinated by the writing’s of a guy named David Deida, author of amongst other things, ‘The Way of the Superior Man.’ If you were to take a cursory glance at Mr. Deida’s ideals, you might be inclined to label him a horrific, misogynistic shit. Perhaps he is, I surely don’t know. What I do know is a few of his thoughts struck a cord with me that still resonate to this day.
That as women become more empowered and more like their masculine counter-parts – that is to say more competitive, driven to succeed, and vocal about their rights as human beings – and men become more feminine – in touch with their emotional side, compassionate, willing to share life’s burdens – something is getting lost. The polarity between Feminine and masculine is a powerful, natural force that is being slowly diluted by the coming together of women and men.
At least IMHO.
I also see it in the very draining new mantra of kink “negotiation and consent”. I am all for both, but it has become an extreme in which all sense of the power generated from the polarity of Dominance and submission is diluted and well… just lost (NOTE: Read all that in the context that I am a consensual non-consent s-type).
His second thought is… and this is a critical point… masculine and feminine has nothing to do with the body you where born with. Having a dick doesn’t make you masculine any more than having a vagina defines you as feminine.
In my case, I am male by genetics but I tend to engender a lot of feminine qualities. Don’t misunderstand – I am not trans, I am not interested in cross-dressing or in any way ‘becoming more woman-like’. I like being male, I just happen to fall on the spectrum as closer to feminine than masculine. My bone structure is fairly petite, I’m not overly hairy, I don’t like competing or sports, I’m not aggressive, and while I’ve been successful in life, I’m not a goal oriented go-getter. And I gravitate towards strong, you might say masculine qualitied, women. Type-A, driven, take no prisoners types who know what they want and what their all about.
In my case the polarity is there, it is simply reversed. In my relationships, women command, I obey. I work far better within the power generated by that polarity. Female/male. Lead/obey. Hey, it’s what makes a battery work, it’s what makes me work.
Interestingly enough, even when I am put in situations of equality with a woman, it will eventually evolve into me submitting. I think because I tend to become seen as a non-threatening, safe space by women and they naturally blossom in that environment and begin to lead – which I think is the natural order of things anyway. 🙂
Just my thoughts. What about you?
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