Most of you don’t believe in the Goddess. You will not swear to Her. It’s unscientific. However, there is something mysteriously powerful about intention. Human freedom is when the whole world is going one way and you purposefully take off in the opposite direction. The oath is for your own salvation and restoration. Kneel and swear to chastity for the month of October. Get a large plastic bag and freeze your key in it on the eve of October. Take a picture of it and post it on your profile with the web address so I can view it. In addition ask yourself what else you should surrender. Maybe you drink too much, use tobacco, watch too much TV? Maybe you spend too much time viewing porn? Maybe you are slothful about your housework or working out? Lock yourself from those things that keep you from your goals. I want you to swear a holy oath to me and have the courage to write here concerning all of the vices you will relinquish this month. Decided how you will spend your time instead of allowing your weaknesses to control you. Do what every woman has always told you to do…..Commit!
On September 30th, 11:55 PM, I want you to lock yourself in chastity, freeze your keys in a block of ice, and post the pictures of your locked boy parts and your keys in ice on your profile. Finally, you are to publicly post that I have locked you or another woman who is your key holder has locked under my last captioned picture. Describe how you feel. List the things you want to accomplish in October. What else will you surrender? How else do you intend to change?…… I’m hungry for your words. – Ms Renee Lane, Author – Finding Love through Female Domination
October 1st – I have willingly submitted myself to MsReneeLane by locking myself into chastity for the month of October as a means of letting her guide me in improving my abilities to serve Goddess Womankind and my one true living embodiment of the Goddess, SuzanneSxySadist.
Describe how you feel –
I am very aroused, embarrassed, and I feel very, very small… vulnerable… so easily mentally or emotionally crushed by you at your slightest whim! I am literally squirming and my dick is trying so hard to get erect in it’s tiny cage, yet it can’t. I feel very stupid and humiliated… that I can be so easily manipulated by a complete stranger who simply uses her knowledge of my own desires to control me. I know you will simply ignore me all month as I struggle to serve the greater good of women. I am really nothing. I am male.
Ms. Lane and Ms V. – you are both so very strong willed & sexually powerful women who, by contrast, make me feel that I am just yet another one of a million typical, unworthy, insignificant male submissives… ruled by their pricks, wanting domination on our own terms, for our own pleasure. I wonder if I can remain obedient enough to keep the cage locked on for the entire month, or will I give in to my porn soaked male brain and take it off to mindlessly masturbate myself into lonely, selfish oblivion! I already want do bad to unlock it and stroke myself! Your power over beta males like me intoxicates me so much! But I need to quickly put these thoughts out of my head.
“Obey today”.
That is enough for now. I am nervous as I read and re-read the instructions hoping I’ve followed them completely and they will be pleased with my turning myself over to be educated. I nervously wonder if I have what it takes to be completely willing, open and honest with a total stranger like MsRenee is to me. I know if I can, it will only help to make me a better, more useful man in the end!
What else will you surrender? How else do you intend to change?
I confess to wasting too much time masturbating to porn, wasting time better spent serving the rise of matriarchy everywhere. And while I exercise 45 minutes a day, I resist adhering to the diet I know I should follow. I eat far too many sweets for my own good. I know this is true because Suzanne constantly tells me it is.
I still sneak a cigarette many mornings with my first cup of coffee even though I promised to give up smoking for my fiancé, SuzanneSxySadist.
My worst weakness is mentally & emotionally withholding myself from my fiancé. We have sexual issues that I will not waste your time with, but I am not communicative enough and too embarrassed to express myself openly to her.
I want you to swear a holy oath to me –
I swear a holy oath to you Ms Lane and to the Goddess, to work during this month of ‘Lock’tober to relinquish these vices that hold me back from being more useful to womankind and my Goddess Suzanne, and to follow to the best of my abilities any further instruction given during the month.
My heart-felt thanks to you for continuing to take your valuable time with us males and for helping mold us into something obedient and useful to women!
October 2nd
10/2 – Describe how you feel –
The cage dug into my thighs all day yesterday, forcing me to sit with my legs spread wide at all times. I had to use toilet paper after peeing to clean myself (just as a woman has too I thought!).
As I went about my day, I was constantly aware of the weight tugging at my balls!
When I woke up this morning with my dick straining at its cage, bulging thru the slots cut into the sides and tip. I was so horny over the thought of being so controlled! I reveled in thinking that I am trapped by a complete stranger who is easily using my own male lusts and weaknesses to control and manipulate me! I want soooo bad to stroke my cock and that want struggles against an equally strong desire to remain obedient and to submit. I tried to put the idea of failing her out of my mind and get soft, then I wondered whether after making it an entire month locked away the words, ‘NO’vember aren’t on the tip of her wicked tongue, waiting to be spoken – and the blood rushed from my brain into my restricted cock once more!
Yesterday, one of the posted pictures said, ‘Put on your cage and panties’. Is that a command as well Ms Lane? I’m unsure if we are only to follow the captions you’ve written or what is in the pictures as well? Even tho Goddess has several favorite sissy boy clients, it has never been her kink for me… I have never been cross-dressed and would find it very humiliating.
I confess to putting my vibrating egg up my ass and trying to look at some porn this morning, but manipulating the cage is far from enough to get me to an edge! I moaned in frustration as my hips humped against the vibrations pounding my prostate! I gave up and turned myself to writing out my daily challenge posting.
10/2 – How else do you intend to change? What else will you surrender?
The morning before beginning the challenge, I took a deep breath and knelt next to my Goddesses chair while she checked email in her office and asked politely if I could participate in Ms Lane’s challenge. I highlighted the goals I wanted to achieve from it and she said yes! We talked further, for the first time in a long time discussing some sexual issues that we have avoided talking about and that had become ‘the elephant in the room’ and left us avoiding sex all together… something that was hurting us both. We are getting married on October 10th, and the idea that I will be in chastity at the altar made her eyes sparkle a bit with a wicked light! If I gain nothing from the month other than this conversation, it is all worth it! Thank you Ms Lane for pushing me to communicate better!
Yesterday, after completing all my usual daily chores for Goddess, I worked further on my LOctober self-betterment goals. I downloaded the SparkPeople app so I could track my dietary intake and calorie count each day. I smoked the last cigarette I had and threw out the empty pack, vowing to not replace it. I also managed to cut several of my usual sugary snacks out of the day as I kept myself busy looking for things that would please MsRenee and the coming matriarchy.
10/2 – How will you further the Matriarchy?
I realized the domain names findlovethroughfemaledomination.com and findinglovethemovie.com where not taken, so I purchased the rights to them, temporarily redirected them to http://artvamp.com/femdomfilm/the-movie/, and then turned them over to Ms V’s control for her future use when the movie premieres. I also finished restoring a website for a woman-owned and operated non-profit cat rescue society. Her last web designer had disappeared and taken her website with him. While she offered to pay me for my time, I politely declined and told her it was my pleasure to assist her.
Lastly, I noticed a Domme who operates a kink dungeon society for us locals, bemoaning some recent medical expenses – she is suffering from breast cancer – and extended my offer to help. I will have to figure out what I can afford to send her later today and arrange that!
I hope my service pleases you Ms Renee.
October 3rd
10/3 – Describe how you feel
I woke up trying to get hard again this morning. The sensation can only be described as… exquisite agony and sweet, sexy torment! I want so bad to stroke my cock!
Day two was a day marked by humiliation & embarrassment.
When I read Ms Lane’s instructions to put myself in panties, I hesitated. While I am a capable, intelligent, and successful man, I would never be mistaken as ‘manly’. I am somewhat small-boned and have delicate hands (I attended the University of Michigan for a degree in music), and I couldn’t grow a decent beard if my life depended on it. So looking LESS manly is never a choice I would make willingly.
I thought that my Goddess Suzanne has mountains of man size panties for her sissy boys that would probably fit me or I course could use some of her old ones… I do all the laundry and know which she wears and which would go unmissed… but I couldn’t just take her property without asking permission. Besides, the sissy panties (and most of Goddess’s) are all thongs or ridiculously frilly, lacy, girlie things. Then I remembered that when I moved from Long Island after my divorce, I had come across a pair of my ex-wife’s panties mixed in with my socks (undoubtedly from some mis-sorted laundry) and I’m Scottish. We just don’t throw things out! So I knew they were still around. It is doubly humiliating to be wearing the panties of a woman who took me for half of everything and that I am not fond of at all. In addition, the realization they are my only pair means I will have to wash them daily for the rest of the month.
To add to my humiliation, I have quickly gotten into the habit of putting a plug of tissue in the tip of the chastity cage to absorb any urine caught in the cage after peeing. In rushing to pee yesterday morning, I forgot to remove it and ended up peeing all over everything. I got on my hands & knees and thoroughly cleaned the toilet, then changed my underwear.
My final bit of humiliation came when I saw my Goddess had read my vows here and loved some of my comments. I literally blushed knowing she intends to follow my training with a watchful eye! Tho I confess it aroused me as well. It made me feel like I’m merely a lab rat being observed and toyed with.
I remain committed to obeying. I am here to learn and to improve my submissive self. I am only a slave, it is a privilege to serve.
10/3 – “I vow be truthful and apologize to and confess any failings immediately to the women in charge of my care…”
After reading your latest post about torturing Butler, I confess I spent a few minutes looking at more porn and getting hard in my cage. Once I stopped and my erection went away, I removed my cage for a quick cleaning and to look for any hot spots on my skin, then promptly locked it back in place and returned to writing my required posts here.
I also ran 120 calories over the daily calorie count recommended by my SparkPeople app.
10/3 – How else do you intend to change? What else will you surrender?
Diet – I continued to track my food intake with the SparkPeople app.
Sugar – No morning cigarette and I when I did the grocery shopping yesterday morning, I made a conscious choice not to bring home some of my favorite ‘sweet’ snacks, removing the temptation.
More open to Goddess – I did not have a chance to talk more with my Goddess as she has a house guest and was unavailable.
10/3 – How will you further the Matriarchy?
After coming across Ms Lane’s BDSMLR blog, I made another small contribution to the film in the amount of what I might spend on lunch with her as it suggested.
I made a donation to Ms Sno’s medical expenses and would ask any male submissives reading to do the same for this wonderful, female superior who does so much for her local kink community.
I continued to look for places to offer a positive review or link to Ms Lane’s book, like Amazon, BDSMLR, here, and of course here on Fetlife.
Thank you Ms. Lane for your attention and guidance!
